Updates:
Testing... 03/12/05
Two months...
Just a token update in case anyone pops in...
I've been climbing again in the last two months. My progress and pleasure on general strength/fitness, and limestone trad/sport climbing has been quick and enjoyable. My dealing with the local gritstone, an obtuse rock at the best of times, has been considerably harder and less pleasant. There are a variety of reasons for this but rather than rant on about them I shall just keep trying, keep trying to work around the problems and keep trying to find inspiring things to climb. And stay in one piece for next spring...
Aside from climbing I haven't been doing much to write about. Although I like having diverse interests I tend to focus on one at a time - just the way my brain is wired up, obssessional rather than multi-tasking. So other hobbies are on the back-burner at the moment. However, possibly the most exciting thing I've done in the last few months is buying this:
Oh yes 
. Although I've got a decent hi-fi, this room is inimical to bass and sucks it all into an inconvenient alcove. After a few years ummming and ahhhing about whether to cave in and go for the "impure" subwoofer option, I finally did. And bloody hell it was worth it - the increase in PHATNESS is so much I might have to put my CD collection on a diet... Very happy with it =).
Dark Ambient...
On the subject of music, and in accordance with the usually bleak and grim British winter, I have been getting back into dark ambient and similar esoteric music. There is a broad, intriguing, and often bemusing, scene dedicated to certain styles of atmospheric music: dark ambient, black ambient, drone, death industrial, noise, neo-folk, neo-classical, power electronics, martial... This is an area of music I've dabbled in before and continue to dabble in again, not least because I find the strong focus on deep, dark atmospheres to be particularly rewarding. At some point I might write an article/reviews about this stuff, to help the uninitiated. In the meantime, for those who dare, check out: Aural Pressure, Cold Spring, Cold Meat Industry, Eibon Records, Going Underground, Loki Foundation, and
Malignant Records. Good luck ;)
[Vibes - a bit frustrated]
[Music - Blame - 720 Revolution (720 Records)....top notch high energy drum'n'bass]
[Media - Quake4, Doom3, climbing video clips]
[Reading - nowt]
[Climbing - badly]
Fiend | fiendophobia [at] yahoo [dot] co [dot] uk
Testing... 03/10/05
Big update!
New pictures of things (mostly amusing creatures)
New pictures of places (mostly storms and skies)
New pictures of new lead figures (mostly Space Marines)
New pictures of old lead figures (mostly strange brightly coloured stuff)
...go ahead and feast your eyes . And if you have any comments, or if anything is b0rked, please email me at the address below.
S.A.D.
Seasonal affective disorder. I don't get it, definitely don't get it. I like winter, I like the cold, I like the bouts of grim weather when you tuck up indoors all warm and cosy. I like the long nights' sleep, I like the turning of the leaves and the mellower light of the season. I like snow, when we get it. Although sometimes the weather is downright annoying, the changing of the season has never bothered me.
Or so I thought.
In the last few weeks, I've got a sudden burst of....I don't know, panic, lurking depression? Just a general freak out, realising how dark it's getting, how cold it's getting. In fact it seemed to happen one afternoon, just painting a figure and not thinking much, and suddenly it's dusk at 6pm, what the hell, I didn't even notice the time changing and suddenly it's full on autumn... I genuinely was panicked. I think I know why - usually in summer, I'm outside a lot, I get a lot of daylight, a lot of fresh air, a fair bit of exercise. This summer, I've been tucked away, ignoring the outside world, so I don't have that buffer of outside experience that usually allows me to enjoy winter as a contrast....this time there is nothing experientially for it to contrast to.
Still, on a more positive note... I went climbing properly for the first time recently. Had a couple of times carefully bouldering down the wall, very carefully as I can't fall from any height, and I was as fat and weak and useless as expected. And I went outside and did a few easy leads and seconded a couple of things. A good start although a bit demoralising as expected, seeing how far I have to go to get some confidence back. Also, my hands haven't transformed into something magically less sweaty during this time off, they still sweat furiously in any temperature above zero, and, yes, that is still fucking annoying. So, perhaps not much complaint about cold winter weather after all...
And finally...
Computer games. I like them. I've played quite a lot, I've played a few of them a huge amount, I've run and contributed to websites about games, I've been in an online gaming community for many years. And - I am not ashamed of this, I am not ashamed of being a gamer, I have nothing to hide and no embarassment. This is despite how games are often perceived by people - nerdy, time-wasting, unhealthy, violent, nonsense. I reject all of that completely (well, okay, some of them involve violence, usually as a natural part of conflict, and conflict is a standard way to get a challenge). They are a form of entertainment, and sometimes a hobby, just like any other. Further, they are interactive, challenging, and lend themselves to user contributions in a way that some prominent forms of entertainment don't. I think there is quite a lot of good about them - immersing yourself in an imaginary world, testing your coordination and reflexes (and sometimes more), being amazed by scenes and designs (which are increasingly technically impressive), engaging in a form of play that you couldn't do in the real world. Yes, of course, they can be taken too far, people can be too obsessive (I have been, but as a side effect of other problems), they are not healthy as a sole hobby. But as one part of a full, active, life, sitting down in front of a screen and spending a couple of hours blasting monsters on a computer - think about it, there isn't much wrong with that.
Here endeth the sermon 
[Vibes - Okay]
[Music - Dark ambient....]
[Media - Still selling my soul to Guild Wars]
[Reading - Paul Auster - The Country Of Last Things ...not sci-fi for a change, good book tho]
[Climbing - Classic VSs....how humiliating =/]
Fiend | fiendophobia [at] yahoo [dot] co [dot] uk
Testing... 15/09/05
Holy shit this place is dead.
Well what's happened. My broken foot has been very slow to heal despite consulting a private specialist, trying various remedies, having accupuncture etc etc. The latest verdict, a few weeks ago, was that although the bone STILL hadn't fused, it was held in place enough with scar tissue to be safe to walk on, and indeed climb on if it felt okay, as long as impacts were avoided. So I've been gradually walking normally again, weighting my toes and stuff. Taking it very carefully but it feels okay now, very little pain. Will try climbing soon. Fingers crossed. This has been a fucking slow and long wait.
In the mean time, I've been painting more figures. Clouds and silver linings and all that, it's been nice to focus on another activity. See the menu to the left, I've organised the pages much better, added thumbnails etc. Most prominent is a page for the Dwarf Army I've been focusing on, quite chuffed with that.
The other thing I've been doing is getting hopelessly addicted to the Guild Wars MMORPG ("Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game" - now you see why it gets abbreviated). I'd been a bit sniffy about this homogenous and over-populated gaming genre before but given my immobility this summer I thought it was a fair time to try one, not least because they've been hyped/warned as being time-sinks. Ummm......no shit! I don't want to think how many hours I've been exploring this game but it's approaching triple figures. Still, it's good fun and a good distraction.
Going to update more stuff sometime this month, hopefully more normal photos and stuff. In the meantime, the fast-approaching-regular musical round-up:
Blame - 720 Revolutions (energetic drum'n'bass; bought for a shocking £1, this is a top quality CD of pure, hi-energy dnb, great stuff, *recommended*)
)E|B( Maldini & Vegas - Bad Taste (hard/techy drum'n'bass; good CD from the rapidly shrinking Bad Company crew)
VA / Evol Intent - Us Against The World (hard/industrial drum'n'bass; raucous shit no doubt, maybe the hardest dnb CD around, interesting stuff)
VA / Evil Nine - Y4K (breakbeat/trip-hop; another good, funky, bassy CD from Evil Nine, well worth getting)
Tipper - Tip Hop (instrumental hip-hop; seriously dope beats on this, full of flava, *recommended*)
Ugly Duckling - Combo Meal (funky hip-hop; quite nice but quite lite really, some funny stuff on it though)
VA / Mr Scruff - Heavyweight Rib Ticklers (dub; some nice relaxed dub, good if you've got the bassbins to do it justice)
[Vibes - blargh]
[Music - see above]
[Media - MMORPGs....someone kill me now...]
[Reading - Last thing was Ursula Le Guin - The Telling, was okay]
[Climbing - "SOON"]
Fiend | fiendophobia [at] yahoo [dot] co [dot] uk
Testing... 07/07/05
The arse continues...
Well it's now been almost two months since my accident and the latest x-ray shows the bone is still not healing. The doctor's verdict is that I'm still within the normal healing timeframe but at the slow end of the spectrum. I'm due for another x-ray at the start of August and if there's no sign of healing then, it will have to be operated on. So this means an injury I was initally told should heal to normal walking mobility in 6 weeks or so, will be at least 12 weeks. Very disappointing - another summer's climbing mostly lost.
To add to the fun, shortly after the last update, Ef broke her lower leg badly in a very unlucky fall while just walking. Her leg is pinned in a Borg-like frame, and she's been barely mobile for a month - but getting better now. When it rains it pours.... On the one hand this is stressful and difficult for both of us as I've been looking after her as well as myself, but on the other hand since I can't do much anyway, I am around to help out without any conflict of interest.
Stuff.
What I have been doing is painting, of course. A very suitable hobby for a time like this, I'm glad I got back into it earlier this year. I've added photos of my recently painted figures to that page. At some point I will organise the page better with more thumbnails and stuff. I've also got into actually playing the Warhammer game too, starting with the Dwarf warband I had - again, now is as good a time as any! I tried a few skirmishes in the local store and had fun....the fun being entirely unrelated to winning 3 games out of 3 soundly =). Must avoid getting cocky...
On the climbing tip, well, the non-climbing tip obviously, but someone asked for my ticklist of what I climbed when I was away, so here it is. Quite happy with that lot for less than a couple of months =). At some point soon I will have a few photos from the trip, still haven't got around to sorting them out.
One thing that obviously alleviates the irritation of being injured is plenty of PHAT TUNES, and here is my recent playlist, as usual all checked out via the Juno MP3 playlists, with some of the bought from the cheapest prices at Amazon.
Drum'n'bass:
Big Bud - Fear Of Flying (smooth and rolling with a dubby vibe and indeed a dub/reggae second CD)
Bizzy B - Science Ep Vol 3&4 (rough and rinsing in a nu-skool reworking of old ruff jungle style)
Calyx - No Turning Back (standard, but good, tough techstep)
EZ Rollers - Lickable Beats 2 (brash and energetic funky uplifting stuff)
Future Prophecies - Warlords Rising (fresh, varied and well produced mostly harder stuff)
Teebee - The Legacy (trademark intelligent atmospheric techstep, quality)
Other:
Evil Nine - You Can Be Special Too (hard to define but sort of funky downbeat bassy trip-hop business, very phat and very good)
Ready D - Not For Tha Fainthearted (excellent SA hip-hop mix CD, good variety and lots of standout tracks)
Pretty much all recommended in their various styles. Treat your ears =).
[Vibes - Holding up]
[Music - top quality drum'n'bass]
[Media - Batman Begins - bloody excellent action film, refreshingly coherent and high quality]
[Reading - Ian Irvine - Chimera (last in an epic and gritty fantasy series)]
[Painting - Dwarf army stuff]
Fiend | fiendophobia [at] yahoo [dot] co [dot] uk
Testing... 18/05/05
Arse.
So I'm back a month early with a souvenir I didn't expect to have 
. This is from sandboarding, by the way. I got a bit carried away, fell awkwardly, and wrenched my foot in the bindings. It's not a particularly bad nor painful break, and I'm not overly fussed about having something broken....I AM fussed about the timing, however. In a month's time I'd hoped to be coming back fit and psyched for summer climbing. Instead in a months time I'll be relieved to walk normally 
. But on the positive side, the trip I was on generally went really well, I got fitter and stronger, did some great climbing, got an interesting taster of another country, and got quite inspired by future trips. And yes, the sandboarding was fun until that point, too 
. I might have the odd photo or something soon.
[Vibes - okay under the circumstances]
[Music - a large number of playlists from the mighty Juno.co.uk]
[Media - back to games for me, watched a couple of films recently and remain unimpressed]
[Reading - Liz Williams - The Poison Master (decent, original, fantasy)]
[Climbing Walking errrr.... Hobbling]
[Loving - having some grander inspiration in life]
[Hating - getting set further back from it at the moment]
Fiend | fiendophobia [at] yahoo [dot] co [dot] uk
Testing... 12/03/05
Right, that's it, I'm off.
Going away for a few months. Will be back then. That's pretty much it. Hoping it will be a good trip and do me some good, god knows I need that. I hope to do more climbing when I return, if you are a climber reading this and would like to meet up please check out the places I'm keen to visit and contact me.
Other stuff, I've been painting more figures and updated the page, including some tutorials I did. Haven't got thumbnails for the latest stuff as I'm too lazy.
Latest music choices:
The DJ Producer - Doomsday Mechaniks (hardcore techno, disappointing, not as good as his Interpretations CD)
Marco Bailey - Sindustry (techno, good stuff, solid banging funky mix)
Klute - No-one Is Listening Any More (intelligent drum'n'bass, good, well produced often atmospheric, with a strong downbeat/vocal 2nd CD)
Pentagon - Revelation (mellow / atmospheric drum'n'bass from Japan, with a fair bit of funk)
P Money - Magic City (hip-hop from New Zealand, quite good but not as good as his excellent Big Things CD)
VA - Riddim Driven: Rah Rah (ragga, rudebwoy business)
VA - Riddim Driven: Stepz (ragga, rudebwoy business)
VA - Riddim Driven: Strip Down (ragga, bit saucier than the other two)
All of these were bought from the mighty Juno Records, taking full advantage of their excellent MP3 Playlist feature, so if you want to check them out head over there and search.
Finally, a link of choice: the deeply wonderful Infinite Cat Project. This is the sort of thing that makes the internet great =).
Bye for now.
[Vibes - Okay]
[Music - Usual stuff]
[Media - Not really]
[Reading - Fantasy]
[Climbing - Most things except trad routes....yet]
Fiend | fiendophobia [at] yahoo [dot] co [dot] uk
Testing... 03/02/05
Nothing happening therefore no updates. Ah the beauty of logic.
Seriously that's about it. Very little happening in life and thus very little sundry stuff to post or show off on here. Except a few more of these, that is. Basically my climbing plans have been pretty much put on hold: I took a small fall and hurt my foot, took a month to recover fully, the weather has been shite, can't really find many people to climb with, and my head is totally fucked - that last one being particularly depressing. So with a certain amount of sadness and anger I've had to put my plans for this winter to one side and hope I will be able to come back to them later. In the meantime, I'm focusing a bit on my lead figures which I'm actually painting relatively enthusiastically at the moment, and training for future plans, which include some imminent travelling climbing trips. Trips which will hopefully clear my head a bit, as I've got mentally stagnant and quite depressed recently, seeing my plans and inspirations fall apart around me (and in my mind)... So it's a bit of a waiting game at the moment.
Something that may amuse, went on a bit of a CD spending spree over Xmas and New Year...
The DJ Producer - Interpretations (hardcore techno)
Various - Bonkers 1 (mid-skool happy hardcore / trancecore)
Various - Bonkers 2 (mid-skool happy hardcore / trancecore)
Various - Bonkers X (modern hardcore)
DJ Hixxy - Exclusive John Peel Bonkers Mix (modern happy hardcore)
Various - 3D Mode presents: Under The Counter (jump-up drum'n'bass)
Shere Khan - Age (tech-step and mellow drum'n'bass)
Omni Trio - Rogue Satellite (ambient drum'n'bass)
Richie Hawtin - Decks, Efx & 909 (techno)
Richie Hawtin - DE9: Closer To The Edit (techno)
Von Thronstahl - Imperium Infernum (neo-classical/martial)
Various - Chamber / Coldspring Sampler (dark-ambient/industrial/classical/experimental)
...all top class stuff of course =)
[Vibes - hidden depression]
[Music - see above]
[Media - great computer games (Half-Life 2) and mediocre films (House Of Flying Daggers)]
[Reading - Ian Irvine - Tetrarch (good, gritty fantasy)]
[Climbing - I remember climbing....I think]
Fiend | fiendophobia [at] yahoo [dot] co [dot] uk
2004 updates | 2003 updates
Information:
A website to post things that people might be interested in. A while ago I made a website which some people criticised for being pink (it was, in fact, crimson). I thus made this website to show what a pink design was really like. It has, however, languished unused for a couple of years until now. The design follows my favourite "L-shaped title + menu" layout, and as well as being pink I was aiming for a soft and serene aesthetic. Which works I think, apart from the crude title. Follow the links in the menu to the left to view any content. It's a personal site so don't expect public service broadcasting =). Any comments would be welcome, email me at the address above.
